Oblivious Review

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First ever review here in Oblivion. Will it be the last? That’s really up to you, the readers. The dear dear readers of destructo oblivion. Always lowercase. We make our case in lowercase. lol. Rofl.

Alright, first off, a film from 1997. Guess which one. Don’t read below. Just guess.

Copland (1997)

Sylvester Stallone
Bobby D. (De Niro)
Ray Liotta (Helllllllll yeah)
Harvey “The Harvester” Keitel
Annabella Sciorra
Michael Rapaport (You’d probably recognize him and say “Oh yeah, I like that guy.”)

Stallone plays the aw shucks Sherriff of a New Jersey town full of NYPD police officers. The cops are allowed to live outside of their jurisdiction because of a loophole wherein they do overtime hours as transit officers. Since the trains head all the way to New Jersey, they can live in peaceful isolation, far enough away from all the shit in the city. They get decent prices on their homes, and criminals don’t touch the place because it’s full of cops.

And they’re tough cops, you know, NYPD cops. They don’t take Stallone’s character, Freddie, too seriously. They like him enough. He is a local hero; he saved the life of a woman when he was a young man, years and years before the story. Liz is her name. Her car plunged off a bridge and into a river while Freddie was just sitting underneath, fishing, or eating a sandwich, or both. I think he was on part of the bridge’s foundation. He dove in and saved Liz, but in the process he lost a significant amount of hearing in one of his ears. All he ever wanted was to be an NYPD cop, but the hearing loss prevented him from that.

I saw this in the theater when it debuted in 1997. When it came on the TV the other night, I wanted to like it because I remember having liked it the first time, when I watched it with my brother. Afterward, we felt cool and I remember the film prompting me to move to the East Coast when I grew up. Lots of things sparked this interest, but I distinctly remember Copland doing that. Eventually, I went to Boston and its surrounds -not quite New York/New Jersey- but close enough. Copland felt more like Medford, Massachusetts than any other town I’ve seen, btw.

It’s a good movie.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the idea that a film is the story of it’s actors. I think I read about this concept in a book about Wes Anderson’s movies. The idea is that the final product is really the story of the actors, manifested in the characters they’re playing.

I’ve never concentrated much on acting until recently. I’m a big plot/dialogue person. You know, I’m a “writer” or whatever. But I’m thinking less like that and focusing more on acting lately, and what actors bring. They’re like writers really. They’re writing the characters they play. It’s like microwriting.

I’m going on too long here. Point is, Copland is a great movie to think of as the story of its actors. Sly wasn’t really huge at that time. 97 was long past Rocky and Rambo greatness. De Niro was at the height of his career, having recently done Casino. Hollywood was leaning toward reality I suppose. Grittiness. Tarantino had made his initial mark. Rocky, the 175 pound heavyweight, wasn’t believable or remotely cool anymore.

Nobody takes Stallone’s Sheriff Freddie seriously. The NYPD cops bark at him and tell him to scoot whenever conversation turns to real police work. One cop basically shoved him out of the way and demanded he leave, while on a domestic dispute call at that cop’s house. Even De Niro, one of the good guys, can’t resist belittling him. Stallone is really up against the ropes in this one.

I guess on a scale of 1 to True Romance I give it a True Roman.

Okay, that’s the film review. Next up is politics. New guest writer Stephen Depper is going to talk politics today. Oh, yeah, Stephen…he’s a good young writer. He works at a Starbucks in Des Moines, Iowa. He’s uneducated, except for a couple of years at Des Moines Area Community College. But he’s very passionate. He can use foul language every now and then, so I apologize in advance.

Everyone, let’s welcome Stephen to destructo oblivion. Cover your ears!

Hey everybody! Alright, Politics! Yeah baby! That’s what my yoga teacher would say. Fuck Yeah! Yoga with Adriene. Yeah baby, get your money’s worth! 

Everyone wants to talk about politics, right? Everyone in my family, right? They love it, they love it, lol rofl.

Bernie! Bernie!
Bernie! Bernie!

I should try to keep this brief, am I right?

Bernie! Bernie!
Bernie! Bernie!

Where’s that shouting coming from? Knock it off! No political bias here in Oblivion!

Bernie! Bernie!
Bernie! Bernie!

Fuckin’ young people man! They don’t know! They don’t know what it takes!

Bernie! Bernie!
Bernie! Bernie!

No bias here! No bias at the blog!

Bernie! Bernie!
Bernie! Bernie!

Knock it off! Trump’s hair is NOT a metaphor for himself and his soul!

Bernie! Bernie!
Bernie! Bernie!

It is not the sole reason- his hair IS NOT reason enough to determine that he is unpresidential!

Bernie! Bernie!
Bernie! Bernie!

I know, I know it looked like he was wearing a clip the other day, like a Bobby pin or something, but that’s not reason enou-

Bernie! Bernie!
Bernie! Bernie!

SEXIST! SEXIST! If you think something’s wrong with his hair! You got a problem with Trump’s hair?

Bernie! Bernie!
Bernie! Bernie!

Look at Bernie’s hair! It gets messy when he takes his sweater off and he doesn’t bother to fix it! What about that!? What about that???? Bernie’s an old loser!

Alright, close those doors, would ya? Thanks.

The republicans:

Ted Cruz– He’s no good. Look at him, listen to him. He’s a weasel. Everything is negative. None of his colleagues like him. He works in the senate with a hundred guys. None of them like him. Want him to be president? Nah, me neither. Look at him and listen to him when he opens his mouth. He’s weird when he tries to kiss babies, and he’s weird when he does negative ads where he comes off as some kind of low-rent theatrical reproduction of a Harry Potter Villain. I didn’t read those books, but you know what I’m talking about. He’s a snake man. A fucking clown.

How bad do I want this low-rent pile of trash running the country on a scale of One-to-Bernie? One. Teddy gets a One. He’s just as bad as Trump. A clown. A grade A fucking MO-ron.

Marco Rubio– This guy’s a clown too. He just gives lame micro-speeches at the debates. He’s on a constant loop. He’s not cool at all. He gets a Two I guess. I don’t know why he’s not a One. Consider him lucky with his Two.

John Kasich– He’s the best Republican left and whom does he endorse if Trump gets the Republican nominee? Trump. He’d get like a three on the scale, but the mind-boggling Trump support knocks him down to Rubio’s level.

Kasich- let’s call him a “High Two.”

Hilary Clinton– She’s better than the folks above, all of whom endorse a guy who sees “life as a fight.” No shit Donald, life is a fight? I never would have guessed. Clinton is getting my vote if she’s the nominee but Bernie is the choice of destructooblivion.com. Hilary gets a 6 on a scale of One-to-Bernie. Bernie gets a Bernie.

I think the Kasich thing is what’s turning the Repubs up-side down. See, the youth (I group myself with them, barely) They don’t look at the stupid old-fashioned shit like red and blue, donkey and republican, Republican or Democrat. You know what the Gay Community seems to like? They seem to like it when they’re allowed equality under the law. They’re happy when the Supreme Court overturns stuff like Prop 8. You know what black people like? When cops who kill unarmed kids get punished. That’s what makes them happiest. Not whether it was Republican or Democrat who helped bring about the justice. They don’t give as much a shit about the people or “parties” making the laws as much as the laws themselves.

There was a documentary on TV the other day about homeless families, living out of hotels. A six-year-old was asked what he didn’t like about being homeless-

“I don’t like being asked dumb questions.”

This kid was six years old. Kids these days man, they can smell bullshit like a fart in a car. It’s not about your party, Kasich, that’s the thing. We don’t care about your stupid “party.” One thing’s for damn sure- you’re never coming to any party of mine. (What’s with all the candidates and their fleeces? Get rid of the fucking fleeces man.) How much more respect would you get from every non-Trump supporter if you said you would NOT support him if he got the nominee? You’d get some from me man, but you’re not. You’re a company man. And we’re sick of company men. All your “busy-ness.” Bullshit man, bullshit.

I’m not 100% sure how this election will turn out, but I am 100% sure that the world spins FORWARD, mah’fuckers. Forward.

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