January 4th, 2006

January 4th 2006,

Today is a very bright and sunny day for January. Today also ended up becoming one of many emotionally challenging days at Surrey. It is also the second consecutive day of my final semester as a student at The Surrey School. It starts off with nothing out of the ordinary. However, things go downhill significantly early when the bus is late like the ole days. The bus driver Marina arrives to pick me up at 8:25am.

“Morning Blaze,” Marina said.

“Good morning why are you late?” I asked calmly hearing actor Danny Devito’s voice to myself.

“Traffic es back up traffic no moving on 5 freeway there was an accident,” Marina said. I just grunted and went to sit down.

“I always have to be flipping picked up late!” I murmured to myself hearing Kurt Cobain’s 1992 talking voice to myself which is how I heard it to myself for the whole bus ride forward.

“Calm down Blaze she was stuck in traffic,” Maddie F. said.

“It’s like ever since I started going to Surrey… (dark grey diesel smoke spurs out of my head) always am the one who gets picked up late!” I said.

“Like back before I went to Surrey my bus was always late like every other day my bus driver was late always but I didn’t get mad at him because maybe he was behind schedule or something,” Maddie said.

“I mean why do bus drivers run late picking up kids that much?” I asked.

“Like maybe the other person they pick up before you goes to a different school and that person was late to the bus. Sometimes something goes wrong the bus driver’s bus and they either have to be fixed or they have to bring the driver a new bus. Maybe they could have gotten to the main office late or like today what’s her name was stuck in traffic she was late to pick me up to,” Maddie said.


“It makes me feel like a horrible person when the bus is late
,” I said.

“You can’t let something like that make you feel that way I mean yes its annoying but you just have to realize something comes up sometimes that makes them get behind schedule, ok?” Maddie said.

“I’ve heard that one before,” I said.

“How’s 2006 so far?” Maddie asked.

“It’s ok I guess it’s only the 4th day so I don’t know yet,” I said.

“Yeah well maybe you’ll have a good year this year,” Maddie said. At Surrey Maddie and I report to the office and get late notes and then go to our first period classes.

“Sorry I’m late Mrs. C my bus was late,” I said.

“Do you have a note?” Mrs. C asked.

“Yeah here you go,” I said giving it to her.


“Awesome go sit down
please,” Mrs. C said.

“Today is our last lecture with the Government books tomorrow we will start Economics,” Mrs. C said. In Government I have my usual anxiety attacks of being in Mrs. C’s room. Before we start 2nd period English Mrs. L-D allows us to take a stretch and come back. During my stretch I by a diet coke from the new Soda Machine and rush to drink it all down. In 2nd period English with Mrs. L-D we begin working on a peace from our textbooks.

“Hey Carolyn,” I said in my own head only during the ten.

“Hi Blaze what can I do for you?” Carolyn asked in my own head only.

“Did Diana break up with Andrew?” I asked.

“Andrew also known as Memo Martinez Junior yeah they broke up like months ago,” Carolyn said.

“They broke in July 2004 and then–,” I said.

“Got back together during the winter holidays in 04 right but they broke up again I think right around thanksgiving because from what I heard Memo and his friend Ali are going out. I also heard that he likes Diana’s friend Wendy because she’s in the military,” Carolyn said. During 3rd period tutorial with The Dean/Josie things really become nasty. I externally go on NNDB.com. When I read about Candace Cameron I see horrifying visions of her husband Valeri Bure beating her and hurting her right I discover that he was born in 1974. Internally I talk to Maddie about Diana because Diana was friends with Maddie’s friend Tina.


“Hey Maddie can you give me Diana’s new phone number?” I asked using actor Trevor Snarr’s voice internally/in my own head only.

“Diana Phillmore?” Maddie asked internally/in my own head only.

“Yeah Diana Phillmore,” I said.

“I mean maybe but she’s very seriously dating Guillermo Martinez Jr,” Maddie said.

“Carolyn told me they broke up,” I said.

“No they didn’t I saw both of them back on Saturday and they were totally like seriously in love with each other and making out,” Maddie said.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yes Blaze I’m positive they did not break up,” Maddie said.

“Man I wanted to get back with her she used to my girlfriend until that little pipsqueak Andrew took her!” I said.


“Don’t say that about Memo
he’s a really sweet guy,” Maddie said.


“I mean yeah he is and she’s such a bitch he shouldn’t have to be with her,” I said.

“I mean he clearly doesn’t care about that because from the way he talks he’s madly in love with her and he even told me when Diana was in the bathroom getting ready to go to work that he would die for her. He got his driver’s license right before Christmas and back on Saturday his parents bought him a new 2006 Mercedes. He took Tina and I for the ride to take Diana to work and they were like so sweet to each other. Like she used to be a bitch to him but like over the last couple months or so she’s has been continuously sweet and affectionate too him,” Maddie said.

“I mean she was my fucking girlfriend once upon a time and this stupid asshole decides to take her what the FUCK!” I exclaimed.

“Dude Blaze don’t yell at me it’s certainly not my fault number 1. Number 2 from what Diana told me of when you guys were together you were like absolutely horrible to her,” Maddie said.

“I was horrible this guy is has been trying to get with her friend Wendy because she’s in the Military forever now, How was I horrible to her Maddie how?” I asked.

So did you, you friggen slept her friend Vanessa six times Blaze six that’s half a dozen and then you slept with that other girl she was friends with Erika and I’m pretty sure you yourself spent the longest time trying to get with Wendy. Memo one time he had an affair with Wendy once it was what they call the heat of the moment. And then also like every time you were sad because your Dad doesn’t live with you, you hit her. Every time you were sad about your friend that Mexican chick Miranda Sandoval moving away and never calling you, you hit her and you tried to kill her Blaze!” Maddie exclaimed.

“Hey Blaze I know how you feel about Diana is painful to see your first girlfriend with another man. I mean there were times when I thought you should be with her like when you yelled at me that I wear diapers in front of the whole school. But for the most part you are an amazing sweet guy and in like the last two-three months or whatever you’ve been like an amazing guy you don’t need to be with Diana Phillmore. A. She’s a bitch B. She’s a bitch and C. She’s a fucking stupid miserable crazy cold hearted sneaky ingenuine anti spirituality hates Gay people anti special Ed rights insanely political pompous straight up dirty slutty bitch. Did I mention that she’s a bitch. My point is find another girlfriend a better one who is going to love you no matter what!” Liccy said internally/in my own head only.

“If it makes you feel any better I’ve heard a little rumor that Memo has been interested in Wendy and has wanted to get with her since back this last Christmas. I don’t believe that he is really in love with Diana I think that he pretends to be because its part of his family culture. Also I’m pretty sure that Diana who dared pull out the N word on Dorian a while back has been having sex with some older black guy named Shawn who works for and collects trash for The City of San Diego,” Liccy said.

“Where does she work and how long ago was she hired there?” I asked.

“She works at San Diego ZOO as a tour guide on the bus,” Maddie said.

“She was hired at the end of September, Yeah and the being in love and would die for Diana as long as I’ve known Memo I’ve only heard how much he can’t stand her. In fact yesterday he was at my house there was a news story about some dead girl’s skeleton they found and he told my Dad he wished that it was Diana whose dead skeleton they found,” Liccy said.

“Well back on Saturday he told me Diana’s the best thing that ever happened to him and it would kill him to be without her. I mean she was in the house,” Maddie said.

“Well one time I was in the kitchen and she was in the living room and when they mistook Diana for a girl from her father’s other marriage that was killed Memo told me he wished that was her and she was right behind him and heard him,” Liccy said. I run late for 4th period Math because of being depressed over Diana having a new boyfriend.

“Blaze you’re late that’s your first warning,” Mr. Clubberland said.

“Whatever my life sucks!” I exclaimed.

“Second warning Blaze,” Mr. Clubberland said.

“You have some nerve giving me a warning when I’m late next time I won’t come at all thanks for ruining my life!” I said.

“Goodbye Blaze don’t even bother coming back here if you’re going to have that attitude,” Mr. Clubberland said.

“So I’m banned from class now?” I asked.

“As of right now yes, I will be having words with Mr. Oz and we will go from there,” Mr. Clubberland said. I reported to the office and went to wait to talk to Mr. Peterson.

“Hey Mr. Oz I was sent out of class and need to know if I can go back,” I said after waiting for at least half an hour.

“I need you to go and have a seat I will be with you in a minute,” Mr. Oz said.

“Thanks for waiting there Blaze. So you were sent out because you yelled at Mr. Clubberland,” Mr. Oz said finally ten minutes later.

“I didn’t yell at him I talked back to him,” I said.

“Well you know talking back to the teacher is never acceptable under any circumstances and certainly not for quite a fine teacher like Mr. Clubberland. Personally Club is one of my favorites. Now why exactly were you talking back to him?” Mr. Oz asked.

“Because he gave me a warning for showing up late. And I was upset because my old imaginary girlfriend has a new boyfriend,” I said.

Well the thing about your imaginary girlfriend you’ll need to discuss that with a counselor. The period starts a certain time so technically he’s not supposed to let you in past the start time of the period. Now I’ve only been the headmaster here for less than a year so I am still learning the ropes. But I do know from what Mr. Kimball told me you were on a roll for a little while with being insubordinate to teachers and some other students and that at one point I think it was your sophomore year and one time recently as well you intimidated a couple of of your bus drivers to where the bus company had to switch up the routes. And then you also made a pretty scary threat on Mrs. C at one point. I really can’t have that otherwise I would have to have words with your case worker and your Mom and we would have to let you go so please let’s not let this happen again yeah?” Mr. Oz said.

“Yes,” I said.

“Ok today and tomorrow at lunchtime come find me I going to have you do community service,” Mr. Oz said.

“What about my job at The Surrey Corner?” I asked.

“You won’t be working there for the remainder of this week I will inform Becca,” Mr. Oz said.

“And what about the basketball game next Friday. Can I go?” I asked.

“I can’t tell you about that we will have to see as we get closer. As of this moment I would say no but again that’s a little more than a week away so we will just have to see how were doing when we get closer to it,” Mr. Oz said. At lunch I reported to Mr. Oz for my community service.

“I’m here for my community service,” I said.

“Ok so what I am going to have you do is find any trash and sweep it. Like this napkin and this cigarette box whoever is smoking at this school is going to be busted big time. Anyway, do that until 10 after 12. During my community service I feel more depression about Diana being Memo’s girlfriend and the fact that she has supposedly changed into a new person.

“Mr. Oz it’s actually twelve after twelve I ran two minutes late,” I said.


“Thank you Blaze tomorrow at the same time,” Mr. Oz said.

“Hey Blaze um The Dean wants to talk to you,” Libby from lower school said when lunch ended.

“Dean, Libby said you wanted to see me,” I said.

“You have Clubberland this period right?” The Dean asked.

“Correct,” I said.

“I know Mr. Oz already talked to you but we’re going to have you sit in the partition this period Mr. Clubberland doesn’t want you in class,” he said.

“What about my homework?” I asked.

“You can check with him when school ends,” The Dean said. In the partition Coach (who externally/reality is teaching his P.E class comes in my own head to talk to me.)

“Hey man why you snapping at Mr. Clubberland for?” Coach asked in my own head only.

“Because f…ing Diana is dating Memo!” I said.


“Hey stop that I’m sick of you saying f…ing Diana all right I’m tired of it and I’m telling you I will not allow to
go to any games if you do this again ok. You will go to zero games if I hear that you yelled at Mr. Clubberland, Mrs. C, any teacher or other students or even your bus drivers because of Diana or Brittany Bay you understand me? Zero games is what I will take you to! Diana with all due respect is dating Memo because clearly he’s a better boyfriend to her then you were. You slept with several of her friend’s multiple times, multiple times you always took your anger about Fernanda Florez being gone, the bus being late, your Dad not being around, and need I mention you tried to murder her that one day when Lenny McDaniel was pushing your buttons? I mean when that girl I told you about cheated on me it hurt and the fact that she was so amazing to this new guy and better to him than me crushed me. But I can’t yell at my someone like my bosses because I lose a job. Blazer this is the last semester you’ll ever be a student here again do you really want to get expelled because Diana who was never that nice to you has a new boyfriend?” Coach asked.

“No,” I said.

“Then you need to cut this out already,” Coach said.

“I mean it hurts so much because she has a job at the ZOO, a new boyfriend and everything and also I hate that annoying monkey Karen who wants me just so she can boss me around and not make me feel secure like Diana did,” I said.

“See Karen is also an imaginary figment like Diana was Diana is an imaginary figment in your head and so is Memo. And the fact that you’re allowing her to become a real person in general I mean obviously you can’t go back and not do that but the fact that you did I mean that’s a wee bit over the line. Imaginary friends usually happened when someone is in preschool like maybe a little bit older than my nephew. But when you’re in grade school you need to focus on real friends. I mean I understand grade school kids have like Teddy bears to hug at night and that makes them feel secure. But by the time you get to Middle school then you should definitely leave those kind of things behind. But creating a whole person who doesn’t really exist and making her feel like she’s actually there see most of the time when someone does that, that usually means something is extremely wrong with them. I’m not saying that’s you but I mean like if I was your Mom or your Grandpa and you told me that you were seeing a person and feeling a person who doesn’t really exist I would like really be afraid and wonder what I would need to do get you right. The only reason you were even with Diana is because of the silly juicer at Surfs Up Cafe that one day when you went in Kindergarten. You can’t let some annoying day that happened when you were in Kindergarten still be upsetting you in 2nd and 3rd grade. Because it not only holds you back from growing and becoming a better person. The fact that the only way you can fix it is to go back and make it happen differently which you can’t makes your mind go crazy. And then the fact that you can’t fix it causes your mind to create situations that don’t really exist,” Coach said followed by me internally bawling hysterically as loud as the backup alarm on a Waxie truck I saw in first grade.


“Come here, come here it’s ok shhh, shhh, shhh,” Liccy said in my own hea
d hugging me and crying herself.

“And then my bird-brain teachers would never let me write about it and then I always had to hear other juicers like it every other fucking day in 1995 and 1996,” I wept hysterically using Britney Spears’s voice when she cries.

“Teachers are so stupid and political anything that isn’t relevant like talking about our experiences is bad. I know nothing about this one day when you went but I do know at certain times of year Surfs Up and other restaurants get slammed hard and they have a juice bar at Surfs Up there and a lot of people want smoothies like carrot or celery juice,”  Liccy said followed by nothing more than hysterical sobs.


“Blazer look yes I know it hurts right now. But see the thing is this one day at Surfs Up when the
juicer was on nonstop like Liccy said probably was slammed really hard or maybe it was really hot and a lot of people wanted a cold smoothie, but in any case yes that high-pitched sound is shrill and annoying it hurts my ears too. But it can’t be the whole thing that now has ultimately threatened you being able to come here and take classes at a decent school like Surrey several times and once which is during your last semester here. You have come too far and worked too hard to let your time here end on a bad note over something that happened at Surfs Up Cafe in 94, 95 or whenever it was,” Coach said.


“I agree with Coach 100 percent Blaze please don’t let this silly day at the restaurant from when I was still wearing diapers mess up your life today in 2006,” Liccy said.

“Ha-ha a little too much info there Liccy I think he gets the picture right Blazer?” Coach asked.

“Yes I do,” I sniffed picking my head up off Liccy’s shoulder.

“All right Blazer I’m going to jet,” Coach said.

“Me too Diana or this day when the silly juicer was on forever at Surfs Up isn’t worth getting expelled in your senior year over,” Liccy said. When 6th period ends I go get my homework which is pretty much almost an entire day of class. The bus ride home is uneventful. I give Mom a report of the day and she is not happy. I feel major depression about having a lot of homework to do and Diana having Memo as her boyfriend. I feel about ten seconds of depression about it not being socially acceptable for me to behave like a girl which is caused by Maya comes down to get a tissue and water for one of her violin students who is having a crying episode.

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