Journal august 22, 2007. Emy told me to write something while I was playing on the computer. She was reading Harry Potter 7 and I was playing SimCity. She’s still reading Harry Potter.
Jeff and Alice were over today and we played the new Nintendo Wii she got for her birthday. I haven’t written in a while. I contemplate moving to New York. A couple of days ago I was going to move to a place by Queens College. That would have been about three weeks from now. I would have left in the old Prelude, sans legality, to NY to start my life over because I can’t have people telling me to go to church anymore. That’s what I say anyway. Emy looks really pretty lately. Her Acne is mostly cleared up. A few days ago, I went to the accounting firm where she interns and gave her a snickers bar, but it turned out I left it on the wrong persons desk. She was off at a client’s all day. A different girl got it. “Emi, present for you.” The snickers bar was placed between that statement and “Love you, Aaron.”
5200 dollars in credit card debt. 2300 in the bank. Damn I’ve gone a while without writing and there are things I’ve been forgetting. Not really writing, not really writing the great American novel, and not really doing anything other than blabber to the computer. New plan: Stay here in SD, Move to North Park area, go to city college, buy a motorcycle. Always wonder how I will pay. Pay with credit card? Finance it? I’ll probably have less bargaining room if I finance it.
I called Jeff the other day, asked him again how it just “comes out”- the whole not reading the book Ray and Jane sent me. They sent me a stupid juvenile book that I read about 5 pages of, and Jeff felt the need to tell them that I didn’t read it. After Jane met Emi, she told me I was too good for her, which is like the biggest bunch of bullshit I have ever heard in my life.
The other day Jeff and Alice came over to my house and went through my stuff. They read an ending to Jr College that I swear he’s already read before, or I’ve discussed it with him. But he was saying,
“Gwar you write things, you write things Gwar… Ok, we were here to let the dog out and Alice went snooping and she swears she’s just like you after reading what you write man and you write some good things- you walked out of your Jr college class and you stared at the lockers because it’s just like high school I was thinking about making a short film out of something you write and giving it to you for your birthday or Christmas or something. That’s the only thing I read. I swear.”
My mom was in the hospital for her hysterectomy. She was in bed on the phone with insurance and she told them her name “Meg Ryan.” My brother and I immediately looked at each other and smiled. She shook her head in anger and disapproval at us. I was going to write all these things about how she’s no longer especially desirable or anything and how that gives me more power or something, like it’s a huge weakness for her- and I can blossom now. I have to give that more thought because I think it’s bullshit.